Sunday, October 14, 2012

Super Neville Morley.

Neville is the most brilliant cat I have ever known. She has lived with me nearly all her life and she is totally awesome. She is very independent and she looks after herself. She is sometimes sick in the house which is really annoying but in general she is very clean and polite and really very beautiful too.

She doesn't slag herself all over people though. She likes to get to know you before she'll trust you. I'm like that too and I appreciate her taking the time to make sure she likes someone. She definitely likes me, and when I'm feeling rubbish there is a very good chance that Neville will know and she will come and make me feel better.

She is cuddly and friendly when I need her to be and over the last week has been my most constant companion, feeling sorry for myself on the sofa. Love Neville.

Next time you fancy telling me you're a dog person? Please don't. I don't care if dogs are more friendly to you just because they're a dog. You have to earn Neville's affection, and when you get it, you deserve it.

NB: this wasn't supposed to be a rant against dog people, but it does appear to have become a bit of one. I thought about toning it down (I did tone it down a bit actually) but am still going with the honesty route too. Sorry though dog people, I have nothing against you, or dogs, I just get a bit offended on Neville's behalf and am jumping a little too far to defend her. After the last week or so, I feel she deserves my defence as she really is just the best cat in the world. Look at this picture - just LOOK how lovely she is:

Super Neville Morley

Still on the hair.

It's been a few days now. Some people I know have seen it, lots of people I don't know have seen it but I'm very aware there is still a bit unveiling to do for most people.

What I wrote last week seems to have been a good talking point so far too, which is interesting. I'm glad I wrote it as that is how I was feeling at the time, but I'm not sure I have quite got my point across yet. Everyone seems to be more worried now about whether I think they'll be telling the truth about whether it looks good or not.

The thing is, I don't really care. It sounds mean, but it's not really what other people think that bothers me. Well, obviously I dont want people to think that I look stupid, but it's not actually my primary concern.

And it isn't that I think people are lying when they say it looks ok, I just think given the context there isn't another choice. I don't think it's untrue, it just doesn't hold much weight.

What is really bothering me about the hair is that I don't feel like me. I don't hate it - I can see that it's not terrible. I just didn't choose this and I would never have chosen this. I don't feel like it represents me and I don't feel like me. 

That's it really.

Well actually there is another element, and it's just the big reveal. I know when everyone has seen it and got used to it it will be just normal again. Hopefully for me too. But until that happens I will need to go through many meetings and many comments and compliments and many conversations about it. Really I wish it was totally invisible, that it wasn't important. But for some reason it is.

At least it's all short term though. Soon everyone will have seen it. In fact soon it will all be shaved off anyway, so actually this is all totally irrelevant.

Brilliant. Have only just realised that. What a waste of agonising.

So sorry for myself.

Being wide awake at half five in the morning is actually getting quite annoying now. People should write more on Facebook at 5 in the morning. Just for my benefit.

I'm having a down day. Or two. Maybe it a weekend thing as it happened last weekend too. So far I have waited it out before writing about it but there's nothing else to do and it might actually help.

Feeling very contrary. And irritable. If someone encourages me to rest it annoys me and I want to prove I'm fine to do things. And if they try to encourage me to do things I'm annoyed that I'm not getting more sympathy and doting. Basically I am being very attention seeking.

I'm boring myself even.

So I'm back in bed on my own feeling sorry for myself. I don't want to see anyone or talk to anyone. I don't want to get dressed or go out I just want to lie here feeling sorry for myself. And then write about it. Oh deary me.

It's really stupid as well because its the weekend and people are actually around. Tomorrow I'll be back on my own with no one around and then I'll really feel sorry for myself. 

And I've got period pains.

And a headache.

OK I'm done now. I do actually feel a bit better for writing all that down.