I can see now why people get scared to go out, and used to being in their own home. Yesterday we went to the Brockwell Park fireworks. (It was awesome - I love fireworks. And we had donuts - I LOVE donuts, the ring ones with just sugar on that you only get at fairgrounds... hmmm).
I have been going to the grocery shop every now and then, or to the doctors surgery. But this was altogether busier and darker and much more scary.
Children are terrifying! They're so unpredictable and change direction at the drop of a hat. My legs aren't working properly at the moment and it feels like I'm wading through treacle just to walk, I'm so exhausted. Changing direction is something I need to work up to, and stopping and starting. So walking down a packed pavement suddenly becomes a high alert situation.
It's frustrating being overtaken by someone two foot tall. I kept causing blockages in the packs of people trying to get home, and that only added to the stress.
And it made me envious of all the energy everyone else had. People were out jogging, gah - when will I be able to jog again?
In fact it has spurred me on to get better, but it made me think about how vulnerable I felt. And all the other people that must feel just as vulnerable. I will look out for slow moving people in future - you just can't tell what's under their mystery hat, causing them to move carefully and slowly.
Oh Jennie, you are so brave. I can't imagine how hard it is for you now. SO scary these early days must be. I guess when reading your blog and fb posts people might have thought "Gosh look at Jennie walking home from hospital - she has got over it quickly. How fantastic!" But there is a long road ahead and each day however good and however bad is one more day towards getting stronger and properly well again. There is plenty of time and I know you have plenty of support - you will soon be able to overtake two year olds again! And yes, we will all perhaps look out for slow moving people in future and give them the space and time they need (whatever kind of hat they are wearing.) Keep strong xx
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