Something I wrote in hospital. Bear in mind I was on a lot of drugs.

You know how in american films when they tell you medical bad news the doctor is always sitting across a big desk with a lamp and a file of papers? You know how they broach the subject gently, even in uk films, and Casualty?

This has been a different experience really. Not what I would have expected.

I have gone from thinking:

• "an ambulance? This is a total waste of resources"... to 
• "a stroke doctor? Now you're just taking the piss"... to 
• "oh, um this isn't good, is it Oliver...?"... to 
• "a fucking tumour? Brain surgery? SHAVE MY HEAD?"

Looking back its only been 18 hours since we saw the GP with a migraine, although it feels like an age. The one thing I will say is how brilliant the NHS is. It's brilliant. The staff have all been brilliant. It's brilliant we live near such a brilliant NHS hospital. Well done King's.

I'm writing this on my second night on a short stay ward. There are four of us in a room and last night one of them screamed throughout the night; tonight it's the second ones turn. The first one has moved on to whimpering, having done a smelly poo and treated us all to a waft. The third keeps calling someone and explaining loudly how they are all keeping her awake. She's a particularly nasty character and loudly exclaims that she hopes they die in their sleep (they are very old). And she says cunt a lot.

The nurses have a lot to deal with. I cant believe how rude people are to NHS staff, like they're entitled to everything and can treat nurses like shit. It amazes me how theythink that's ok. I'm trying to make up for it By being extra nice.